


Control

by SunnyStories



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, First Time, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 10:30:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17506901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunnyStories/pseuds/SunnyStories
Summary: So much hangs on a single action. Everyone knows that. Yuri finds out why.





	Control

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was very self-indulgent. This is the first time I've written in a while, and I wrote in the past and posted on fanfiction.net. University is quite busy.
> 
> When I first watched ddlc playthroughs, I didn't think much of the ships. After reading the blog dokidokiliteraturegirls on tumblr, I have gotten into it a lot more and I absolutely love Natsuri. 
> 
> The trans natsuki headcanon is one that really spoke to me and gave me life. I am trans myself and honestly, the best. I'm gay as hell. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story.

Yuri had many flaws. She was always trying to improve herself, but flaws exist in every person. Natsuki had to admit however, that Yuri’s bed was absolutely flawless. The comfort it brought to her eased the pains of the day like nothing else. It smelled of lavender ( _Oh, it smelled so heavily of lavender that she would hate it if it wasn’t the smell of Yuri_ ) and resting her head on a pillow would bring her to ever closer to the depths of slumber her body ached. To her, the bed resembled everything she found in Yuri.

Comfort.

Ease.

Love.

To her. Yuri was flawless.

( _Can’t let her know that though.)_

“Are you sure you don’t need another pillow?” Flawless and caring, Natsuki thought as she turned to face the door.

“Not really,” Natsuki could tell Yuri was nervous about something, even if her stutter was absent. You get to know a person after spending so much time with them, “I wouldn’t object to something warm though.”

“O-Oh, like a blanket?”

“I was thinking of something else. I think you’d be able to help,” Natsuki smiled coyly. Flirting was the favourite weapon to use against Yuri. The way she got all flustered was a victory. ( _And it was so much easier to make her all cute and flustered with flirting rather than fighting.)_

Yuri had a different idea in mind tonight. Something in her eyes blazed, a deep breath came out of her. It was like an agony from her shoulders had been lifted as her stature became towering. She closed the door without looking away for even a second, “Maybe I can.”

The tone made Natsuki shiver. Every time she saw the reserved and shy Yuri become confident, she felt her heart jump out and scream. She _loved_ seeing Yuri like this. Yuri was coming closer, walking so agonizingly slowly that she could swear she would be freezing by the time Yuri got to her on the bed. ( _She knew what she was doing. She knew how it affected her._ )

“F-Fine… if it takes you a million years, I might as well go to sleep,” Natsuki turned away and gazed at the ever-so-interesting trees that were outside the window. ( _She won’t win_.)

Yuri breathed into her ear, “Well…” Another shiver. A long pause. “You’ll be missing out on… So. Much. Fun.”

Natsuki was losing buttons left and right with how hard they were being pressed. She stayed silent. (Not because she was certain her words would come out jumbled and Yuri would know the effect she was having.) The pillow would remember the exact features of her face at this rate.

Stupid sexy confident Yuri.

A hand traced itself up her spine. ( _A soft touch.)_ Slowly, it moved to her shoulders. Slowly, it ran along her arm until it was touching the bare skin under her arm. Slowly, it made circles. Slowly, the feeling evolved from a tickle to pleasure. It made her breathe deeper. Slowly.

It was more than pink-haired girl could handle. She felt her right arm start to feel like jelly. ( _Why is her touch able to do this?_ ) She pushed herself up and quickly whipped around. Pink met purple. She grabbed the taller girl’s wrist. Yuri couldn’t react fast enough to know that the moth had finally noticed the flame. Natsuki pushed her head up higher. Pink met pink. Yuri’s surprise subsided as she pushed her lips further into Natsuki’s.

Natsuki’s right hand made it up to cup Yuri’s cheek. Her other hand pulling Yuri closer to her by her wrist. Two. Four. Useless to count as their lips parted only to search for more.

Laboured breathing.

Two hands reaching out and grabbing a small waist.

Rearranging.

Natsuki’s back to the bed while Yuri’s face moved away. ( _She looks like she’s in a trance._ ) Then it moved closer again, away from her lips. Soft lips touched her nose. Her cheeks. Forehead. Nose. Chin. Nose. Lips. And once again, they pushed against each other. Natsuki’s arms snaked around Yuri’s neck.

Desperate to get closer. Yuri’s hands moved up from her hips, dragging along her sides. They reached higher, until they both held her face. She was being straddled now. ( _Everything is so soft._ ) The hands gripped tighter and pulled Natsuki up.

She whined as Yuri pulled her lips away. A sweater hit her face. Natsuki contemplated her next move. ( _She wanted to see. She **needed**_ _to see… But she was also awkward_.) Yuri’s breathing got heavier by the second. Cream left her vision to be greeted by a pure black lace of pale skin. Her breath hitched, but she needed more air.

Yuri’s face was a deep shade of red. Natsuki could see it clearly in the moonlight, but she pretended not to notice. ( _She made it this far with her own confidence._ ) She gingerly moved her hands from around Yuri’s neck to the hem of her white shirt.

Yuri stopped her. “Let me,” She whispered, the sound so smooth Natsuki wanted to play it over and over in her head. Yuri pulls the shorter girl’s face onto her breasts as she reaches her lips to Natsuki’s ear. She used her breathe once more. Shivering had become a natural state for Natsuki.

Yuri’s hands travelled down to the pink girl’s hips again. A quick squeeze was awarded with squirming. The hands explored more, going under her shirt. Soft sensations were all over her back as smooth motions were made. Up. And Down. Over and over. So much was happening to her at once. Teeth softly dragged themselves on her earlobe before clamping softly and nibbling. Yuri did more to drive her crazy by the second, and she moaned.

And then suddenly, nothing was happening at all. Yuri had thrown off her white shirt to reveal a plain beige. ( _Embarrasing.)_ She missed the breath that was on her, the hands that were exploring deeper as the seconds flickered by.

She didn’t have to think about that for long. Yuri had been waiting… When she got what she had wanted, she was ready to go further. The purple orbs gazed intently into her. ( _She could undress me completely with that look._ ) Soon, she was pushed back down again. Hands pushed roughly against her breast in desperation. The taller girl’s quick breaths, showing lust. Her lavender eyes, showing lust. Every action, showing lust.

Yuri’s soft lips finding hers again. Yuri’s breasts pressed against her.

Natsuki moaned.

Yuri kissed deeper. Her hands grabbed hold of Natsuki’s own. Natsuki moaned. Yuri jerked the smaller girl’s hands away from her sides. She pinned both hands by the wrist on top of the pillow. Natsuki moaned.

Another kiss. Natsuki moaned. A deeper kiss. Natsuki moaned. A soft bite on the lower lip.

Natsuki moaned.

Natsuki moaned.

Natsuki moaned.

.

.

.

Natsuki sobbed. A quick jerk away from her lips and widened eyes. “Shit. D-Did I do something wrong?” She let go of Natsuki’s wrists.

Natsuki sobbed. Yuri had no idea what to do.

Natsuki sobbed. Yuri pulled her face onto her chest and let her wail out. She stroked her hair, trying to help the emotional girl calm down.

* * *

_She opened the fridge to see no new ingredients had appeared yet. Worse, she saw that one of the packs of beer she had seen yesterday was missing. She panicked, quickly shooting her head up to see if he was near._

_The coast was clear. She slowly closed the fridge. Her stomach rumbled, but she couldn’t risk baking something. The sense of doom clung to her as she grabbed a juice box. It would have to last until tomorrow when she could eat at school._

_Quietly, she made her way out of the kitchen, being extra cautious now that she knew the danger. The snoring sent a wave of relief as she trotted towards the stairs. Before she could begin her slow journey up, she realized the snoring was gone._

_In a panic, she tried to quickly run up the stairs._

**_Thud!_ **

_Blunders are timely. “Hey!” Pain was inevitable. “I’m trying to sleep here!”_

_“F-Fu- Uh… Sorry, I was just trying to go up to my room. Ugh, fuc- ow!” Natsuki scrambled it out, hoping it would work for once. Her shin had landed directly on the edge of a step._

_“What? Are you in pain?” He spat out. As he approached, she could see his bloodshot eyes. “Maybe, I need to remind you of what pain is so you can quiet the fuck down.”_

_She knew she would need some ice for what was about to happen next. She fucked up. She had a warning, but she still fucked up._

_She was laying her back against the wall on the small island before the long expanse of the stairs. She couldn’t escape now. He was towering over her._

_“Get your ass up,” He demanded. Shakily, Natsuki pushed herself up and stood, shaking. Shaking, her father, the man who was meant to protect her, spoke again, “I let you do whatever you want. I give you the clothes you want. I buy you so, so much. I just want you to shut up for maybe a few hours and I can’t even get that.” ( **Maybe he forgot that she had bought herself everything. The manga. The clothes. The food.** ) _

_He kneed her in the crotch. Before she could drop in pain, he grabbed her forehead to keep her steady. He ordered her to put her hands up. Grabbing both wrists and pinning them above her head, he continued, “Maybe I should take it all way.”_

_Terror struck Natsuki’s visage. ( **She already had so little.** ) He smirked. He slapper her. Then slapped her again. “What? Nothing to say?” _

_Natsuki was about to open her mouth. He slapped her again. He used his knee to strike her in the stomach this time. Natsuki’s strength to stand was gone. His grip on her wrists stayed as the rest of her body drooped._

_“Next time, don’t wake me.”_

* * *

Natsuki sighed. “I-I’m sorr-”

“No. You have no reason to be sorry. What did I do wrong?” Yuri spoke softly. ( _So soothing_.)

“Nothing!” Natsuki’s voice caught. She coughed, and Yuri offered her some water from the bottle she kept on her night stand. After a quick drink, Natsuki continued. “I just… I had a bad memory. He… He would do that a lot.”

Yuri’s blood ran cold. _Do what?_ She thought. Her face contorted, but she quickly regained her composure to comfort Natsuki.

Natsuki on the other hand, was watching intently. “Not like that… he would grab me by the wrists, so I couldn’t fight back. I can’t stand the thought of not having that control. I want to give you all of me, but I can’t lose my last sense of security.”

Natsuki’s voice had become so quiet, so soft, that Yuri’s ear was nearly at Natsuki’s mouth.

“Hey…” Yuri’s voice was piercing now. “You don’t need to give anything up. I want you to have fun… To feel like you’re being loved, because I love you. If I can’t do that, then I won’t. You can tell me ahead next time what you don’t like.’

Natsuki mumbled something under her breath that Yuri missed. “It’s not easy sometimes. Sometimes, a loud noise will set me off. Sometimes, I get this intense feeling of dread just from reading my manga. I feel… bad…”

“I’ll still be here. You can cry in my arms. You can lay there and sleep while I stroke your hair. I’m here for you. What did you say before though? I didn’t catch what you said first.”

“…” Still too quiet.

“Sorry, could you repeat?”

“I love you too!”

Yuri’s expression lightened. Her usual embarrassed girlfriend was making her return. She continued to stroke the hardened girl’s hair.

After what seemed like an hour, Natsuki said something again.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” Yuri had heard her, but she wanted to tease the cute little package she was holding.

“Y-Yuri, please…” Natsuki was begging. _Cute_.

“You’ll have to speak up, cupcake.”

“Don’t call me that! I’m not a cupcake! I’m a beefcake!”

Yuri kissed her on the forehead, which flustered Natsuki further. “Sorry, miss beefcake. What did you want?”

“You’re really going to make me say it again?” Yuri simply stared back. “Fine! Can you try _fucking me_ again?!”

“Gladly.” Yuri’s smile almost shined back at her.

Yuri hesitated though. She wanted to, but she was scared she would do something else that would remind Natsuki of her father.

“Hey… I’m okay…” Natsuki said, not looking at her. ( _So embarrassing.)_

That was all of the confirmation Yuri needed. Her girlfriend could only be honest when she was okay if she was looking away. Yuri planted a big kiss on the top of the smaller girl’s head. She trailed the kisses down from her head to her face. Peppering kisses on the soft face she loved was one of the joys of her life. A minute passed as she continued her assault on the petite features. Natsuki whined, wanting more.

Yuri giggled and pushed her lips against Natsuki’s.

Natsuki melted into the bliss of the kiss. Having Yuri pay attention to her needs made her feel how special she was. She felt her whole body relax as Yuri’s kisses slowed down, her lips lingering between each kiss. They stuck together, clinging, before separating for just a quick second, before being gently pressed against each other again. Yuri’s hands began to roam the expanse of her back again. ( _Gently. So fucking gently._ ) Eventually, the hands made it to her shoulders, gently pressing them to make the pink girl relax further.

The kisses trailed down further. This time, stopping just before her neck. Yuri kissed her jaw softly.

And suddenly, it was ablaze. The intense feeling of something that was almost there- but not quite. The kisses continued across, to the other side of her face. Another kiss to the jaw.

A soft moan escaped her. “Nnngh…” And yet she was being teased further. She opened her eyes to look at Yuri and she brought her face up. “Please…”

At a speed neither of them knew Yuri possessed, her lips made their way onto Natsuki’s neck. “Aahhh!” A tingle that was being supressed finally made its way down her spine. Followed by many more as her neck was presented with more.

“Sh-” A tongue slowly dragged along, just below her ear, sending waves through her once again. 

A permanent smile was plastered on Yuri’s face. She loved having this effect on Natsuki. Her mouth decided to explore further down. With one hand, Yuri reached back and unclipped the beige that was obstructing her access. It flew across the room seconds later. Yuri’s eyes were closed as her kisses neared, but she knew they were perfect, as her other hand reached and flicked Natsuki’s nipple. Her tongue soon joined on the other nipple, getting a pleasant sound from Natsuki.

“ _I haven’t been on them for too long. They’re too small. I’m… not beautiful at all.”_

“So beautiful. They’re perfect.” Yuri could see the pink eyes widen a bit before her face tinted in red.

_“I’m not a cute girl at all… Everyone is just making fun of me.”_

“How can a girl be as adorable as you?” One shade deeper. Yuri lifted herself off, her mission being further down. Both hands now on the small thighs, gently stroking back and forth.

_“Yuri… I need to tell you something…”_

_“What’s wrong, my love?” Yuri could see the dark circles under the other girl’s eyes._

_“It’s something I couldn’t share before…” Tears threatened to spill again. “But I didn’t want you to hate me.”_

_“Darling, I could never hate you.” Yuri got closer to hug the smaller girl._

_“NO! No… I need to tell you before I lose the nerve…” Natsuki fidgeted. She had done this before, but only with her close friends. “I’m… I’m not-”_

_Her voice escaped her as it quieted down. “This is hard…”_

_“Take your time. I’m here.”_

_“It’s…” A deep sigh. A deep breath. “I’m not… No, that doesn’t work… I’m trans.”_

_Yuri understood. She knew why Natsuki was so nervous. It must have been hard on the girl to reveal something so personal, even to her partner. Natsuki looked away, scared that she will see disgust in the eyes of the girl she wanted most in the world._

_“It’s certainly a surprise,” Natsuki held her breath. “But it doesn’t change that I have the cutest girlfriend in all of existence.”_

_Yuri didn’t waste a second after saying that. She grabbed Natsuki and planted her lips._

Yuri couldn’t wait any more. Her lips were on Natsuki’s thighs as she reached for the panties that needed to be far away from where they were right now. Swiftly pulling them down, she could see how much the arousal had affected the girl in her hands. Wasting no time, her right hand made it to the erection and grasped it.

A sharp intake of breath encouraged her to continue. Her kisses lead her mouth closer as she stroked the length. Only seconds after, her face was right in front of a part of the girl that she loved with all her heart.

“I ho-” Before Natsuki could continue, the head of her penis was already in Yuri’s mouth. The tongue swirled all the way around slowly. “-pe that it’s okay.”

“Mmhmm.” The vibrations pushed Natsuki closer to being a complete mess. The sounds in the room stayed constant. Slurps coming from the intense work Yuri was doing, and the direct reactions of Natsuki was having to said work. Yuri pushed deeper with each bob of her head. She was so focused on getting it all into her mouth, but given that it was her first time, she settled for half-way. Increasing the frequency, she hummed in contentment as the sounds from the pink girl got louder. Natsuki’s breathing became erratic, her throat parched, as she was pushed to the edge.

“Fuck! I’m almost there… Keep doing that…” Yuri was happy to oblige. “Wa- wait! Pull away… It’s-”

Yuri _knew_ she shouldn’t, but she _wanted_ to so much. _This is as good a time as any to practice, right?_ She thought. She pushed her mouth as far as it could go as Natsuki was finally pushed over the edge, screaming out and grabbing Yuri’s hair. “Ah- Yuri… Yuri!”

Yuri kept the suction strong as she pulled herself off, smiling as it made Natsuki shiver after her release. She tasted the fruits of her labour. _Bitter._ She loved it.

“That was…” Natsuki’s breathing was started to stabilize. “Magical.”

Once her breathing had finally returned to normal, she wasted no time in grabbing Yuri, who was by her side now, by the hips and pulling herself on top of the tall girl. Her lips hungrily reached down and kissed the other girl. The breathing was no longer normal.

Natsuki’s lips made their way down, throwing off the black lace as fast as she could. Yuri’s ample chest looked so inviting in front of her. ( _Fuck, they’re so beautiful._ ) Her mouth made their way onto her chest. Her hands threw off the pants in her way. Her mouth kissed around the small mound that Yuri so wanted the smaller girl to consume. Her left hand pushed against the matching black panties that were soon to join the bra on the floor somewhere in the room. Yuri’s voice was contorting as Natsuki picked up the intensity of her touches. Her mouth was on Yuri’s nipple, causing a sharp moan to pierce her ears that made her grin and washed away any lingering nervousness.

Panties finally gone, Natsuki felt the wetness engulf her fingers. Using the lubrication, she searched for the perfect spot for her fingers to attack. Finding it using the sounds that were coming out of Yuri, she started to trail her kisses down to the spot as her fingers focused on it, gently rubbing circles around it. Before her tongue reached the spot, she bit into the soft thigh in front of her face, causing Yuri to yell out in pleasure.

Her fingers wasted no time either, as they reached into Yuri’s core. Her fingers pushed against the top wall, rubbing the area back and forth as Yuri’s mind slowly melted into a puddle. Nibbling along her thigh, Natsuki finally reached out her tongue and licked Yuri’s most sensitive spot.

“Oh- Nat…!” As Yuri tried to speak, the pink girl increased the intensity. She could feel Yuri’s hands envelop themselves into her hair and push her against the wetness. “I lo…! Love yoooou…”

Natsuki kept her pace, knowing that the girl in front of her would find her release soon. As she felt Yuri’s walls start to tighten, she started to flick her tongue faster, drawing out the orgasm for as long as she could. Yuri’s heavy breath slowed after the spasms that had just afflicted her. As the fingers and tongue slowed down, her body would not cease shivering until Natsuki finally moved away from her.

“You’re… so… wonderful…” Yuri breathed out. Natsuki gave her a quick chaste kiss before she made her way to the bathroom to quickly wash off. She was back within a minute.

“Don’t let this get to your head, but… I love you,” Natsuki swore to herself for not being able to be more honest in this intimate moment. ( _Why was revealing her true feelings so difficult? She had already told her once before without acting like a jerk.)_

Yuri wouldn’t have it any other way. “You’re such a cutie.”

“N-No I’m n-” Yuri didn’t let her finish as she crashed her lips against her lover’s.

“How about we continue?” Yuri moved her mouth close to Natsuki’s ear and whispered, “I want to feel you more…”

The pink girl, true to form, blazed pink across her cheeks. She was about to respond when Yuri swiftly moved down and took her now soft bundle of tissue into her mouth again. Soft, only for a little while.

“H-Hey! Don’t we need protection?” She moaned after getting out her protest. Yuri continued her work as she pointed to the top drawer of the nightstand beside her bed. Natsuki reached out and opened it.

It was full of condoms. ( _Absolutely full._ ) She couldn’t actually see the bottom of the drawer. Yuri was prepared, and she _wanted_ this.

Natsuki was ready to give it to her.

Reaching out, she pulled out one of the condoms and ripped the package open. She tapped Yuri’s head to get her to move.

“I’m on the pill too. But you can never be too careful,” The gentle smile on Yuri’s face only made Natsuki go quicker. The condom sheathed, she returned the favour for Yuri until they were both ready.

Natsuki positioned herself at Yuri’s entrance.

She was ready.

[ **Oh my god! You guys are finally doing it!** ]

( _She had no idea what was going on, but that was definitely Sayori’s voice._ )

[ **It’s me! I can’t believe this is really happening! I’m so happy for you!** ]

_(Natsuki just spoke in her mind, “Get out of here, you creep!”)_

[ **Sorry! I was just making the rounds making sure everyone was okay! Looks like I won’t have to check on Yuri!** ]

Natsuki groaned. ( _“Get out!”)_

“I- Is everything okay?” Yuri hesitantly inquired.

“Y-Yeah!” Super awkwardly, she gave Yuri a thumbs up.

[ **Okay, okay… Have fun…** ] Sayori left.

( _Thank god [Is Sayori god in this world?] she was gone._ ) “R-ready?” Yuri nodded. Natsuki thrust forward.

“Fuck!”  
“Mmmh!”

Even though they were only connected through genitalia, the nerves in their bodies erupted in pleasure. They were both desperate for more. They both tried to push themselves further into the dance, but it took some time for them to match their pace. ( _She hoped she was not disappointing the well-endowed girl with their first time…_ )  Their movements quickened, now together. Their moans getting louder, now together. They were connected, now together.

Now together, they were each other’s love and support.

Natsuki could tell she was close, but she held on, wanting to finish with Yuri. It was a task harder than anything she’d done that day. With each motion, her mind was closer to letting go as her body was sending spasms down her spine. ( _So, so close._ )

As she neared her climax, she had an idea. ( _She liked pain, right? She hoped her hunch would be right.)_ She lowered herself onto Yuri and shared some kisses. Her mind was on something else entirely though. Quickly, she moved onto the girl’s slender neck. Her kisses made their way onto the tender part of her shoulder. One kiss. Two. Three. Without warning, she bit down.

Hard.

.

.

.

And she was rewarded for her risk. Yuri screamed in pleasure, no longer able to control herself. As Natsuki sucked on the bite, she could feel the walls of Yuri’s core contract, increasing the friction.

Too much.

“Y-Yuri!” Natsuki yelled out. Yuri pulled the pink-haired girl off her shoulder and brought her up to her lips. Both of their moans were drowned out by the intensity of their lips clashing together again that night.

Reveling in the high, they stayed in the position of their climax for a few minutes, shaking to regain control of their senses once again.

Natsuki shakily got up to clean herself off. Yuri stayed, her eyes starstruck.

Once the shorter girl made it back, she nervously sat on the bed. “W-was that alright?”

“It was amazing, darling,” Yuri pulled Natsuki to lay on the bed and hugged her from the back. “How was it for you?”

“…”

“Shy now?” Yuri giggled at the girl in her arms. She pulled a blanket over on top of them.

“I’m not shy! You know how it was from my reactions…”

Yuri kissed her lover on the back of her neck. She smiled. “Absolutely.”

The two snuggled closer.

 _She’s perfect.  
_( _She’s flawless._ )

It was comfortable.

It was peaceful.

It was loving.


End file.
